Day One - The Drive

Ok..... so I have been writing about how excited I am to be going to see my brother.

I am finally up here!! Yesterday was Day on which was longest drive EVER!!!!

10 hrs in a car with nothing but my I-pod and my phone, I went bonkers! The first part of the drive was ok. When we crossed the Fl/Ga border we decided to make a pit stop. Well the fun started there. As I was trying to get over, a driver decided to pull along side of me and neither speed up or slow down for me to merge over. While I tried to get this person to move either way the tractor trailer behind me almost plowed over me! Needless to say I was pissed/scared to death. The rest of the trip was uneventful after that.

When finally arriving to Jacksonville we get to our hotel and recieve a call from the Marine, telling us that he wants to see us. If I didn't mention the time it was 11:00 pm.

Anyway we go pick him up at the 7 day store, get something to eat and then return to the room and proceed to passout.

Hopefull I will be able to write about Day 2 later today, lets see how the day progresses...

Long Drive

Tomorrow morning begins the long drive up to Jacksonville, N.C. It will probably be a longer drive because this time we have to take 2 vehicles, my brother's jeep and either the mariner or milan. That means that Mom and Dad will be driving the jeep and I will be driving the other one by myself.

I am kinda anxious about the drive. Anyone would be. I have made the drive from Fl to N.C. before but there was other people with me in the car. Which made it a completely different expirence.

I am also looking forward to the drive. Not just because I get to see my brother (which is amazing all in its-self :D) but it will give me some time to think about things. With being in a car by myself I will be able to think about things and decide what the next step is or just to contemplate life. I will be able to voice these things out loud without explaining why I just start saying things to anyone. I promise it makes sense to me.

Hopefully this time to think will help me put some closure on certain things, to decide on what the next step will be for me, and just some time to scream at the top of my lungs if I need to, which will probably help relieve some stress.

Why August is AWESOME!!

August is awesome for sooo many reasons! But this year it is especially AWESOME!

The first reason is of course it is my Birthday Month!!! I share my birthday with some awesome people, H :). Unfortunately this year I won't be celebrating my birthday in town, which brings me to reason #2.

BUBBA IS COMING HOME!!!!! My brother, the Marine, is coming home from his first Deployment and I will be at Camp Lejeune for my birthday picking up my brother. Awesome birthday gift. He has surprised me for my last two birthdays for coming into town and being here to celebrate my birthday. This year I will be going to see him, so a reversal! I have missed him soooo freakin' much!!

Reason #3 makes me sound like a nerd but that is who I am. School is back in session and if everything goes according to plan I will be graduating in Spring, FINALLY!!! WOOHOO! I absolutely love school. I love the learning, the classes, everything. I feel like I am a professional student, if that makes any sense.

So this August is usually an awesome month for me but this year is even that much more awesome for me!

I really could use a shooting star

Me and my I-pod have never been closer. That may sound weird to most but to those who know me, music=life so life=i-pod attatched to my hip, at all times. I grew up singing anything, then took piano lessons forever. Even though I don't play piano that often anymore, singing and music have always been imortant to me. I have music for all occasions and emotions. My mood can be told by what music I am listening to.

Lately the song that has been on repeat lately is 'Airplanes' by B.o.B featuring Haley Williams. I so wish that this song was true cause I need a wish right know. Along with this song you have the usual heartbreaking songs from Rascal Flatts, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Brad Paisley, Randy Houser, Jason Aldean, etc. etc. But then there are few that are not quite the usual like 'Undo it' - Carrie Underwood, 'Picture to Burn' - Taylor Swift, 'Pray for You' - Jaron and The Long Road to Love. So mostly sad songs with a few upbeat different songs.

Music has been a huge part of my life. Without music, life would be boring. Just think, no dances where you get your first kiss, no clubs to go out and have a girls nigh out, no concerts to scream your lungs out, no moonlight dancing to your song by the lake, no songs to cry to when yor heart is breaking. Movies would be dull and unsuspenseful. Life would be blah.

My I-pod has been on overdrive but that is how I deal. It will be on overdrive for a while longer cause I have to make a driving playlist to help be get from here to Lejeune to pick up the Marine. I will be driving by myself, yikes. But it will be worth it.

It still hurts and the emptiness will there there for quite some time but music has helped get me through what seems like endless days and nights. I just the was a shooting star that I could wish to undo it!

Emptiness

Why is it so hard to let go of something that you know is not good for you? Why does it feel like every part of you is tearing into little pieces when staying is hurting worse and worse.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be the only one who if fighting for this. But it is taking to much of me to continue to fight for this. It is killing me litle by little and I am losing what little bit of myself that I had just regained from the last incident.

There isn't enough tears, chocolate, or wine to fix this. I don't know if I am strong enough to do this....

K and H - Can we do a girls night in or out soon? I need all the support in this as I can get!

Twilight

6+ hours of Twilight hotness= Amazing!!!

Gonna go see all 3 movies tomorrow!!! Lets see how this goes!!

From the mouth of a 2 year old

First of all my cousin is BACK!!! Yeah!! Very excited about her being back home! Miss her and E way tooo much!

Second: I have had a bloggers block, hence no recent blogs.

So sorry about the fewness in blogs. Been a crazy couple of weeks. Found out my brother is coming home soon, my bf is also coming home and I had to take the CLEP. Excited about the first two but I am anxious/nervous about the third. It takes 4 weeks for the results of the CLEP to come back and it has only been 2. The hair pulling has begun so by week 4 I will be bald.

Anywho........

So if you can't tell, I am super excited that my cousin and my niece are back home. So this past weekend I spent lots of time with K, E and H. So I go out to her house and she tells me that she had to run to the post office but that H is there and will let me in. I go in and while waiting for K to get home, H and I began to chitchat. I cover all sorts of topics in my jumping from one subject to another very fast in my normal way. I then hit the topic of my brother coming home, which lead me to a funny story that happened during while I was seeing my brother off.

When we went up to see him off, he wanted to introduce us to a couple of his buddies, G and Hichos-Hichos. So we went to dinner and had a wonderful time with everyone. Back at the hotel, after Bubba dropped the boys back off at the barrack, Bubba informed everyone that Hichos-Hichos had told him that he was totally in love with yours truly. Needless to say I was totally flabbergasted. Driving all day, crying the days before (BF left a couple of days before Bubba deployed) I know I looked like crap and yet my brothers friends was head over heels for me. Anyway for the following he went everywhere we went. Before D-Day (deployment day) my mom invited both of the boys to come down to Florida when they came back if they wanted to. Hichos-hichos immediately told my mom he would love to.

Back to present day, I was telling this story to H and K. Both absolutely thought it was the funniest thing and kept saying 'Hichos-Hichos' over and over again. Well with E being 2 she repeats everything so she was also saying it. Anyway, we went to the mall later that day and while we were walking around, E started saying 'I want my Hichos-hichos'. We all looked at each other, wonder who she was talking about. She then proceeded to point to me and say 'Hichos-hichos'. H and K started rolling with laughter as E kept pointing to me and say 'Hichos-hichos'. So today before church, K told E that they were going to see Aunt Danielle. E proceeded to get a confused look on her face. K then said that they were going to see Hichos-hichos and she got all excited.

So now instead of Aunt Danielle I am now Aunt Hichos-hichos.

This will be an intersting couple of months to come.

H- I can still come up to visit you if things become interesting as we think they will be?