Complete Overview

Ok.......... so the whole idea of blogging while up in N.C. sooo didn't work. I was having too much fun spending time with the family and the Marine. Early mornings and late nights made doing anything else quite impossible.

So to sum up the trip, it was AMAZING!!! Got to spend lots of time with the family, got to see lots of N.C., and had lots of good N.C. BBQ. Parker's BBQ is soooooo good! We ate there twice while in N.C., once when we were visiting my great aunt and great uncle and then for my Birthday :). This BBQ is amazing and sooooooooooo good. It is also a very unique place as they only accept cash or checks for payment and they are only located in N.C.

Speaking of my Birthday, my brother got my an 32GB I-touch, which I absolutely love. He got it engraved with "Brother and Sister A Bond Never Broken". Can we say tearjerker?? Anyway to stop me from crying to laughing hysterically and being totally brother style, he got me a bedazzled pink case. For those that don't know, I really don't like the color pink, so everything my brother gets me either has pink in it or is pink its self. Needless to say the tears dried up to me giggling like crazy.

The trip home was uneventful, except for me running down the highway to jump into my brothers jeep while we were stuck in traffic outside of Wilmington. He was soo happy to get back to FL.

While he was here, it was non-stop going. We did everything plus more of stuff her wanted to do. One of the thing that he wanted to have done while he was here wasto have tattoos done for my and my younger brother, T. We got to pick the design, the lettering and the colors. Then we each went with him while her got it done. The tattoos are similar to the ones that me and T had. T's tattoo was a four leaf clover done in red and black with his name under it on J's right shoulder. Mine is green and black with my name under it on his left shoulder. He wanted them done so that we will be with him where ever he goes. Of course this had me crying more, cause we have always been close and its been hard to be away from him. With him being in the military, the length between seeing each other has been longer and longer. And with him possibly being deployed soon (maybe march :( ) knowing that that little piece of us is with him will hopefully help.

He left right before Labor day and has been planning his next trip home already, lol.

School has started back up for me. I am super excited about it. Hopefully at the end of spring semester I will be graduating with my AA. YEAH!!!! Finally but it had been worth the time and effort. After that I will be in my nursing program :)

So that has been a complete overview of that past couple of weeks. Hopefully I will be more vigilant in blogging :)

Day One - The Drive

Ok..... so I have been writing about how excited I am to be going to see my brother.

I am finally up here!! Yesterday was Day on which was longest drive EVER!!!!

10 hrs in a car with nothing but my I-pod and my phone, I went bonkers! The first part of the drive was ok. When we crossed the Fl/Ga border we decided to make a pit stop. Well the fun started there. As I was trying to get over, a driver decided to pull along side of me and neither speed up or slow down for me to merge over. While I tried to get this person to move either way the tractor trailer behind me almost plowed over me! Needless to say I was pissed/scared to death. The rest of the trip was uneventful after that.

When finally arriving to Jacksonville we get to our hotel and recieve a call from the Marine, telling us that he wants to see us. If I didn't mention the time it was 11:00 pm.

Anyway we go pick him up at the 7 day store, get something to eat and then return to the room and proceed to passout.

Hopefull I will be able to write about Day 2 later today, lets see how the day progresses...

Long Drive

Tomorrow morning begins the long drive up to Jacksonville, N.C. It will probably be a longer drive because this time we have to take 2 vehicles, my brother's jeep and either the mariner or milan. That means that Mom and Dad will be driving the jeep and I will be driving the other one by myself.

I am kinda anxious about the drive. Anyone would be. I have made the drive from Fl to N.C. before but there was other people with me in the car. Which made it a completely different expirence.

I am also looking forward to the drive. Not just because I get to see my brother (which is amazing all in its-self :D) but it will give me some time to think about things. With being in a car by myself I will be able to think about things and decide what the next step is or just to contemplate life. I will be able to voice these things out loud without explaining why I just start saying things to anyone. I promise it makes sense to me.

Hopefully this time to think will help me put some closure on certain things, to decide on what the next step will be for me, and just some time to scream at the top of my lungs if I need to, which will probably help relieve some stress.

Why August is AWESOME!!

August is awesome for sooo many reasons! But this year it is especially AWESOME!

The first reason is of course it is my Birthday Month!!! I share my birthday with some awesome people, H :). Unfortunately this year I won't be celebrating my birthday in town, which brings me to reason #2.

BUBBA IS COMING HOME!!!!! My brother, the Marine, is coming home from his first Deployment and I will be at Camp Lejeune for my birthday picking up my brother. Awesome birthday gift. He has surprised me for my last two birthdays for coming into town and being here to celebrate my birthday. This year I will be going to see him, so a reversal! I have missed him soooo freakin' much!!

Reason #3 makes me sound like a nerd but that is who I am. School is back in session and if everything goes according to plan I will be graduating in Spring, FINALLY!!! WOOHOO! I absolutely love school. I love the learning, the classes, everything. I feel like I am a professional student, if that makes any sense.

So this August is usually an awesome month for me but this year is even that much more awesome for me!

I really could use a shooting star

Me and my I-pod have never been closer. That may sound weird to most but to those who know me, music=life so life=i-pod attatched to my hip, at all times. I grew up singing anything, then took piano lessons forever. Even though I don't play piano that often anymore, singing and music have always been imortant to me. I have music for all occasions and emotions. My mood can be told by what music I am listening to.

Lately the song that has been on repeat lately is 'Airplanes' by B.o.B featuring Haley Williams. I so wish that this song was true cause I need a wish right know. Along with this song you have the usual heartbreaking songs from Rascal Flatts, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Brad Paisley, Randy Houser, Jason Aldean, etc. etc. But then there are few that are not quite the usual like 'Undo it' - Carrie Underwood, 'Picture to Burn' - Taylor Swift, 'Pray for You' - Jaron and The Long Road to Love. So mostly sad songs with a few upbeat different songs.

Music has been a huge part of my life. Without music, life would be boring. Just think, no dances where you get your first kiss, no clubs to go out and have a girls nigh out, no concerts to scream your lungs out, no moonlight dancing to your song by the lake, no songs to cry to when yor heart is breaking. Movies would be dull and unsuspenseful. Life would be blah.

My I-pod has been on overdrive but that is how I deal. It will be on overdrive for a while longer cause I have to make a driving playlist to help be get from here to Lejeune to pick up the Marine. I will be driving by myself, yikes. But it will be worth it.

It still hurts and the emptiness will there there for quite some time but music has helped get me through what seems like endless days and nights. I just the was a shooting star that I could wish to undo it!

Emptiness

Why is it so hard to let go of something that you know is not good for you? Why does it feel like every part of you is tearing into little pieces when staying is hurting worse and worse.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be the only one who if fighting for this. But it is taking to much of me to continue to fight for this. It is killing me litle by little and I am losing what little bit of myself that I had just regained from the last incident.

There isn't enough tears, chocolate, or wine to fix this. I don't know if I am strong enough to do this....

K and H - Can we do a girls night in or out soon? I need all the support in this as I can get!

Twilight

6+ hours of Twilight hotness= Amazing!!!

Gonna go see all 3 movies tomorrow!!! Lets see how this goes!!