Thursday, July 29, 2010

I really could use a shooting star

Me and my I-pod have never been closer. That may sound weird to most but to those who know me, music=life so life=i-pod attatched to my hip, at all times. I grew up singing anything, then took piano lessons forever. Even though I don't play piano that often anymore, singing and music have always been imortant to me. I have music for all occasions and emotions. My mood can be told by what music I am listening to.

Lately the song that has been on repeat lately is 'Airplanes' by B.o.B featuring Haley Williams. I so wish that this song was true cause I need a wish right know. Along with this song you have the usual heartbreaking songs from Rascal Flatts, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Brad Paisley, Randy Houser, Jason Aldean, etc. etc. But then there are few that are not quite the usual like 'Undo it' - Carrie Underwood, 'Picture to Burn' - Taylor Swift, 'Pray for You' - Jaron and The Long Road to Love. So mostly sad songs with a few upbeat different songs.

Music has been a huge part of my life. Without music, life would be boring. Just think, no dances where you get your first kiss, no clubs to go out and have a girls nigh out, no concerts to scream your lungs out, no moonlight dancing to your song by the lake, no songs to cry to when yor heart is breaking. Movies would be dull and unsuspenseful. Life would be blah.

My I-pod has been on overdrive but that is how I deal. It will be on overdrive for a while longer cause I have to make a driving playlist to help be get from here to Lejeune to pick up the Marine. I will be driving by myself, yikes. But it will be worth it.

It still hurts and the emptiness will there there for quite some time but music has helped get me through what seems like endless days and nights. I just the was a shooting star that I could wish to undo it!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Emptiness

Why is it so hard to let go of something that you know is not good for you? Why does it feel like every part of you is tearing into little pieces when staying is hurting worse and worse.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be the only one who if fighting for this. But it is taking to much of me to continue to fight for this. It is killing me litle by little and I am losing what little bit of myself that I had just regained from the last incident.

There isn't enough tears, chocolate, or wine to fix this. I don't know if I am strong enough to do this....

K and H - Can we do a girls night in or out soon? I need all the support in this as I can get!